Lack of communication when dating
Using Facebook pages to force the other person to get in touch by posting TMI (too much information) messages Sending emails complaining about the relationship and listing their shortcomings, what the problems are on a regular basis – I call this People Who Write Too Much. Breaking up via email and text, and one of the most frequent occurrences, breaking No Contact via text and email.We engage in lazy communication because it’s low risk and ‘safe’.One of the key components that distinguishes a bonafide, mutually fulfilling, healthy, loving relationship from being a casual/booty call/passing time situation or even a friendship is intimacy. You want to grow on all levels from dating into a relationship?You want to ensure that you’re not Dial-A-Lay, or Dial-An-Ego Stroke or Dial-An-Emotional-Airbag?Let the alarm bells start ringing when you start out with decent, if not somewhat intense communication and it fades out to a dribble.If they’re way of telling you they miss you, checking in on you, or even saying they want to get back together with you is via text, email etc and they’re not picking up the phone or coming to see you, they’re incredibly lazy.Don’t project dodgy excuses for why they’re not making an effort. It’s not because they’re The Busiest Person on Earth.It’s not because they’re better at sending texts than talking.
Unfortunately we seem to have dropped our standards of what a relationship or someone being interested constitutes. We want to be easy going and the last thing we want to do is scare them off by attempting to clarify where we stand.
Yes we may have some extra communication options, but people only claim it’s the new way of doing things to legitimize crappy behavior. The reality is this: Relationships require effort, connection, and intimacy as well as love, care, trust, and respect, and so the way of ‘olden times’ is actually exactly as it is .
of being interested while sleeping with us, maybe expecting us to listen to their problems and give them an ego stroke? If they’re not calling and making genuine, human efforts that involve voice and sight to grow your relationship, and instead are relying on lazy forms of communication, you’re in a lazy ‘arrangement’ with a limited connection that is fostering false intimacy and building sandcastles in the sky.
All became clear when I asked about how often they communicated and there had only been two phonecalls in six months. That wasn’t a ‘relationship’ – it was like being a sexual pen pal.
When it all boiled down to it, most of the lazy communication via text and email served 4 purposes: From the perspective of the ‘offender’, it’s obvious that this isn’t a relationship because they, for example in this case, have only called twice in six months and in their eyes, it’s a casual arrangement where they get a shag, an ego stroke, and a shoulder to lean on.
the relationship’, it’s a hook up (read: booty call) and hanging out.