Been dating for 3 years
Tough, but better than being stuck in another country in a bad relationship…
I am trying to make sense of my 9 years` experience and use it for a better future.
How else can our families see their grandchildren/niece/nephews grow up? While others are investing their extra dollars in college or retirement accounts, we are saving up for our next airline tickets to Germany!
We love visiting family but it can put an added strain on our marriage since we never really get a “true” vacation to places that we’d like to visit and don’t know a soul. ,000 is a lot of money which we’d love to be able to invest for the future.
I didn’t even know about it because I had moved to another State 500 miles away! It opens your mind well at least mine to being open minded and not carrying about what the world thinks of us :). We have the most wonderful time when we do visit our family . I think European marriage is slightly easier and less costly to visit your family at least! I’m also very lucky that by coincidence we now/currently live in the same region of France as my parents (who moved here before us) and my husbands parents. Luckily we live right across the street from my mother (we can wave to each other from our own houses!! I am quite an independent person and can find my way quite easily – I built a life on my own – but no matter how much I invest, a part of me will never be accepted, not even in my own home.
There will never be a time when we are close to his family as well as mine. Things just feel a little less warm and comforting when our holiday traditions disappear. However, there are times when our cultural differences rub one another the wrong way. My husband is completely fluent in English yet he can still feel out of place when he hangs out with a bunch of Americans using slang and subtle cultural references. My husband had to listen to my complaints (for a long time) about how different life was in Germany.
The cultural idiosyncrasies of my husband that I love the most can also cause me the most frustration when I’m not at my best (and mine can do the same to him! I can’t even imagine what it is like for couples who don’t speak each other’s languages! Then I had to listen to the same from him when we moved to the States.
Below are a few reasons for why I find international marriage difficult. Would they live with me or him or travel between us both? Being that I am not fluent in German (and my German seems to decline steadily each year that we live in the USA), it pains me not to be able to understand nuances of my husband’s language.
Although I wouldn’t say these are necessarily reasons not to marry a foreigner (I chose the title to match our other fun, more positive post), 10. One of us is always living far, far, far away from family and friends. My husband especially feels this when Christmastime rolls around: There is nothing even close to a Weihnachtsmarkt here in Seattle (and where is the smell of roasting nuts filling the air? When I lived in Germany, Thanksgiving came and went without even the sighting of a turkey, let alone family getting together to celebrate. My husband and I have learned to appreciate most of one another’s cultural quirks (this has actually been a fun process overall). Being that one can never know where life will lead us, if my husband and I were to divorce (God forbid), I have no idea how difficult things could get. All in all, international couples who divorce tend to have more difficult decisions to make when compared to those who live in the same country. When we visit his family, I often don’t understand subtle jokes and can feel like an outsider. However, international marriages take just that little bit more.
hat with all of the wonderful reasons why marrying a foreigner is fantastic fun (see our post 10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Foreigner), there are some definite downsides as well.